I gradually put weight back on, and at 27, I was up to 340 pounds. Went through a divorce, and subsequently lost 110 pounds (my actual weight loss, not the weight of my ex). But again, gradually put the weight back on. I’ve been over 300 pounds for roughly 2 years, now. In December of last year, received the dreaded info from my doctor that I’m on my way to being a diabetic, assuming I live another 10 years.

So, I began keeping track of what I eat and how much I weigh. Over the last 11 months, I’ve gone through periods of a few weeks in which I do an excellent job of eating right along with moderate activity, but I consistently fall back into my old habits and I gain more weight back.

My highest weight over the last 11 months was 322.5, and I’ve been somewhat successful the last 6 weeks at working my weight down from that point to my current 313. My motivational help? It was a graph of my weight since I began keeping track of it last December. The gradual incline really upset me.

However, I’m afraid I’m going to head back into my old habits. I have been depressed most of my life, and I still fight it today. I’ve never been medicated, because I refuse to take depression medication. Additionally, I’m well aware of why I’m depressed, and realize that my appearance is only part of that equation.

One of my biggest problems is my inactivity. Like Jim Gaffigan, I greatly enjoy not moving!! But this needs to change. My work used to be my exercise. My job required me to walk several miles a day carrying heavy equipment with a lot of bending and lifting. It was outdoors, it was fun, and although I was still heavy, I was a healthy heavy.

At the age of 31, I began working part-time outdoors and part-time indoors due to the extra money. By the age of 35, I was in front of a computer full-time. Since my exercise had come from my job, I never established an exercise routine outside of work. When my job provided the exercise, after work, I would come home from work and live as a couch potato. Problem is, I’ve kept that lifestyle even after obtaining the indoor, sit down job.

So, now, I get very little activity and I eat a lot of pizza. I’m wanting to eat healthier and I’m wanting to exercise, but when I get home from work, I’m physically exhausted. I’ve been going to bed earlier, hoping to force myself up in the morning to exercise, but I’m so tired in the morning, it’s getting harder just to drag myself out of bed.

Oh, I also have apnea, but my claustrophia has killed every attempt at me trying to wear every mask there is. I need motivation, and I need it bad.

Sorry for the novel.

I am a happy man now and can fit in smaller sizes from top to bottom. The most important is to stay healthier after weight loss.

The desire to lose wieght has to come for you, not somebody else. So what is it (in terms of fitness) that you want so badly that you’re willing to change your bad habits to get it?